Shake shake, shake shake, shake it...

Don't know who this poem is for, but I did imagine a guy in mind while I was writing it, someone impossible to reach.

I want a guy who's worth the time

Who would always appreciate my feelings

And never would commit such crime

Of hurting me and saying bad things

And even though I'm mad & feel like walking away

He would never had to argue

He'd look me right into the eyes and say

How can we fight when I'm too busy loving you

He makes the impossible possible

And even though we're miles apart

We would be inseparable

'Cause what counts is what's inside our heart

Every time we fuss and fight

He'll tease and smile and ended up singing

All he does is trying to make me laugh

He hates himself for seeing me crying

I don't know where this is going to end up

But I promise I'll always try to make it work

And before I stop to say all this crap

I want to say that I love you, you dork :)

It's pretty weird that I included "He'll tease and smile, and ended up singing" to the poem, because I think a guy who can sing can get away with probably anything. My friends who are close to me know, that I'm not attracted with what the guy looks like, more into what the guy offers on the inside :) Not that I like a guy who has the voice of an angel (gosh, that would be AWESOME), but a guy who loves to sing just for fun, or just to entertain me would be very cute. Hahaha. 

Okay, enough with the endless imagination. 

Well, I'm goneee, I'm goooing ;)
Later!

(Don't) Be Afraid To Fall

Valentine's Day. It's more of a day to remind all of you to splurge money on cards and chocolates. I'm one of those people who never make a big fuss out of Valentine's, I think of it as an ordinary day like any other. I mean, it's not even public holiday, what is there to celebrate? But then, last year changed my view on that. Maybe in this scrutinizing life we live, we need to be reminded that you are loved and you also need to remind someone that you love them. It's like birthdays. Who needs a reminder that you're growing old? But then again, I came to realize it's a reminder. That you're alive. To this day. And isn't that something great to celebrate about? Just like Valentine's, it's also a reminder that love is a grand thing. Love is to be celebrated every day of your life, but there's no harm in making a day feel extra extra special.

Maybe it's all lies. How people said that they don't want the cards and stuffed animals and being treated as sweet as possible. But maybe it is true that they don't want to be treated that way for just one day. Maybe you should buy someone flowers just because you want to let them know how special every day with them are. And I don't always mean a girlfriend, or a boyfriend, it can be your parents, your best friend. Remind them how grateful you are to have them in your life and how much you love them. Valentine doesn't have to be fine dining and all, maybe it's just something special such as a little note hung on the refrigerator, or a little text message to express how much you love them. Simple things leave memories that are hardest to erase. No moment is ever perfect, it's you who create the perfect moment. Now go remind someone you love them.

Waking Up to Reality

It's February. Not one of the most anticipated month of the year, next to March, sort of avoiding the fact that I'm turning 24 that month (man I hate birthdays...), but this situation has nothing to do with the fact that the "Worldwide Fraud for Couples Scheme" that the greeting cards and chocolate company try to pull off, best known as Valentine's. I have embraced flying solo for so long, I don't think I'll ever forget how to deal with little speed bumps like being single on V-day.

I'm more anxious because this month is the month of decisions. Where some of the things I have been waiting for will come down to a conclusion. I don't like the thought of waiting in uncertainties, I'd rather know even if it hurts me. Just like what I'm doing with love, I'm trying hard not to expect too much. I've dealt with changes and learn to surrender to its consequences. And I've been caught up with different kinds of feelings lately. The feeling of hope again, the thought of maybe I can give love another try. The scary thing that I'm terrified about is not that people can change, it's what's changes can cost you. Losing people. I still haven't fully sink goodbyes in. The magic of goodbyes never fail to cease me in awe. Even when I see the signs, I ignore it. That's what love can do to you, damage the remarkable function of the brain. It starts to stop taking control then the heart steps right in.

On a much lighter note, I'm happy that January was a month filled with a lot of "Friends-I-Haven't-Seen-In-A-While" meetings. One of which is the one I just had yesterday. He is a good friend I met in concert. And the great thing is he knows every inch of my story yet he never looked down upon me. He's like the other older brother. He hasn't changed much. Always concerned on my study, on why I'm still single, and seem to be worried about me considering to be a nun or a lesbian (ha! Inside joke...). Gotta love the advices he gave about taking care of myself. He told me about a lot of his part of this life too, family, girlfriend, Uni life and stuffs, and he's the funny person that could light up a dead conversation. The ice breaker, I suppose. I'm blessed with such great friendships in my life. Maybe the fairies need to spread a little luck dust on the love section. Okay, maybe I can use like a lot and I say that in the least desperate way possible!


Keep the faith

Thirstday~

It's a Thursday and i have no idea what im about to write here in my blog :)
Well i'm going to write a poem that i made like a long time ago , something that i felt i need to pour out in a piece of paper (that's totally me , i don't tell people when i'm upset or pissed) .
And so here it goes-

How does it feel to fall ?
To see everything you worked for is for nothing at all... 
How does it feel to lose ? 
Especially someone who gives you boost... 
How does it feel to fade ? 
Knowing someone you used to love turned to hate... 

And to cry out the most- 
Losing someone you should've held close... 
To be at the lowest point in life- 
Letting go of what was worth your strive... 
All you do was to imagine yourself holding his hand- 
So close , unconditionally til' the end... 

Too personal , yea , you can say that ;p
Ha !
I love this poem so much , i dont know why .
I know it's not that good , but it's the only poem that i've written in tears (literally) .
I don't have to tell y'all why , i'm such a cry-baby ;p
Well that is all :D
Xox

So Please Don't Stop The Rain...

Think about it. If we don't have any problems, we won't ever be able to tell which friend is true, which ones aren't. When it's raining, you'll know who to turn to for shelter, who will suddenly show up without any invitation in advance, or who will even more shockingly-- leave you in the rain. Problems can even bring you and your friends (or even family) closer. So it really is your pick, whether you want to bring out the best in you, or show the worst in you. 

Not that I'm saying that it's good to always have problems, it's more like saying that maybe, just maybe, it's always meant to be imperfect. Like one of my favorite sayings that says, "If today would've been perfect, there wouldn't be any tomorrow." I've always thought that it's so devastating that a problem is not done, and another one is already on its way, but I realized that if life was perfect, it would've been boring, and I wouldn't be able to tell if someone's a real friend. 

Life is simple, if someone is meant for you, they'll stick long enough with you 'til who knows when, but if they're not, they'll leave soon enough before we even realize they mean somebody to us. Losing someone is painful, but the way I see it, it's more like a blessing in disguise. You can't really spell the 'rainbow' without the 'rain.' So, keep your eyes focused on the rainbow at the end of the rain, no matter how heavy the rain is. Bigger and better things to come, people! 

keep the faith 

xoxox

Black and White, Wrong and Right.

I guess you have to meet the wrong people to be thankful when you meet the right ones. I don't know why, but these days I just feel like God has 'permitted' me to meet all the people I pray every night not to let me meet. Maybe it's because I'm being tested, but I feel like I've went waaay beyond my limits, I feel it's almost impossible to deal with those people. And the way I see it, I think it's best to keep it all to myself. 

If there is any kind of way to measure my stress level, it's by what I eat when I'm not even hungry. And yes, it was pretty intense so I had a bunch of Cadbury. Other than it was sooooo good, I just thought about too much stuffs yesterday, so I had to eat something! (That was a lame excuse for eating chocolate) But yeah, I promised myself that I would burn all those calories (and thoughts) I had yesterday, and thank God, I did ;)

Aaaahhh :)

KEEP THE FAITH ;)

XOXOX

Forgiveness is never easy. Bitterness is easy. Hatred is easy. But forgiveness, that is a tough one. Sometimes people say things they don't mean or do things they can't take back. Sometimes we do things we can't take back. We're all afraid of something. I was afraid. But in the face of great despair, I had an epiphany... What I have done is who I am. But what I have done is not who I will be.

Standing Tall

I used to be terrified... Of losing you. Now? Not so much. I just have to remember my capacity, just how much love I would give, just how much I would sacrifice for someone, just how big my heart is even when it's torn apart so many times. So now, I'm not scared to lose you. I know even through the struggle, through the pain, I will survive. No matter how hard it is, I promised myself, I will survive.

Life is definitely a Fairytale-

...not

ah yes , all we see in those crappy movies are just a bunch of lies . there is no prince charming , no spectacular wedding... no happily ever after's-

dan sekarang berdiam diri disini , gak tau mau ngapain , kehilangan kata-kata buat ditulis (maksudnya ketik) . being random . people's faces are running through my minds , i miss them a lot :(

'Dan merekapun hidup bahagia selama-lamanya...'
Bullshark (jadi inget AquaMarine) .
mami yang super sibuk , bokap yang super bawel , little bro and sissy yang super rese ! ah yes , my life can't get anymore better .

dikamar saudara yang super comfy :) i love my cousin . i feel like she's all i got for now-
everyone's so... far away :(

what are friends for ?
no , that's not a trick question that doesn't need an answer . i seriously asked that question-
that means i need an absolute answer , which i obviously haven't figured out (just yet) .
if they are meant to steal your crushes (or in some of your cases , boyfriends) , then in that case , i don't need a friend . if they are meant to backstab you , i don't need em' too . if they are meant to betray you , i don't need a friend either .

i need people with unconditional love , so that this world will be a better place !
WHAT THE ?
okaaay im outta here peeps !
xox

Find me here! :) :) :)

www.facebook.com/marshailma

www.twitter.com/marshailma

Path/instagram/line : marshailma

LOVE,

MARSHAILMA

:)

Keys To Loving

Deal with the wrong guys, get your heart broken, how else are you going to know if someone's right for you? 

If he was to lose you, remember that he's giving up on someone amazing. Know your worth, love yourself. Don't sell yourself short. 

Fall in love, fall out of love, forget the rules for a moment, this game has none. 

Use your brain, crash even harder. Think it will last, think it will fall apart, embrace every little thing coming your way. 

Listen to love songs, sing to them, remember why it all happened, how it all happened. 

Don't forget; those things-- good or bad-- make you this way, the person you are right now. 

Remember that someone loves you, a friend, a family member, you are someone important to another. 

Take risks, deal with the consequences, see if it's all worth it at the end. 

You'll never know unless you try.

yes, yes and yes!

The Girl

Recent Song On Play: Kiss Me- Ed Sheeran

Let me be the girl you fall for a little bit more every single day. Let me be the girl you can show your true colors to. Let me be the girl you can tell your dreams and deepest secrets. I wanna be the girl you never thought could ever existed. Let me be the girl you think about even when other girls are around. Let me be the girl that makes you feel like the luckiest man alive. The one girl that makes you a true man. The one who makes you wonder why other guys could miss out on. Just the one who makes you realize how truly blessed to even come across with, let alone make her fall in love. So cherish her, embrace her and give her your world when you found her. Because she has trusted you enough with something she knows you can break; her heart.